I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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