So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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