Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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