I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize