Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Randomize
