Where is the hickey?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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