his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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