Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
