Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
