dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
ttyl tear gas
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
