I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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