I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
