Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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