I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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