Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
