I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
