Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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