quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
