No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
