I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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