Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize