that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
