What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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