he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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