I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
