i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
