Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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