Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Who died my cat blue again?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
