office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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