i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
