What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
