Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
