maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
