did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize