UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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