Is it because I queefed?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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