carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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