Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
