There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
