the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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