dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
