How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
