so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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