dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
