Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize