Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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