Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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