so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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