So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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