your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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