last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
