Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
