Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
