nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
