whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
