Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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