So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize