sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize