I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
