So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
