I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
