so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
