The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
