On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just google imaged poop.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
