Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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