Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
