I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
