i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
