i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
