sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just had sex bonerless
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
