So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
it was like eating out sand paper
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
