he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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