dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
