1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
