We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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