I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
